The Prodigal Returns

Well, it has been quite some time.  An interesting and eventful time - unfortunately not all positive.  However, as with all challenging times I'll look back on it in the future and it will be a funny story.  A least I hope so.

I was getting over the foot debacle.  I got used to the shoes and then moved on to pretty ones again. Just as I was able to start exercising again I went for a romantic weekend with the DH.  It was not romantic because I fell on a wet bathroom floor on the first evening (Friday) and hurt my right hand.  You should know at this point that people sometimes describe me as stoic. My hand hurt, a lot.  It was swollen. But I didn't want to spoil the weekend. So I waited until Sunday morning and... my metatarsal was fractured. Not only that but it wouldn't stay out in a cast. So.....

Yes, it did hurt.  It's a long saga.  I had to wear a compression glove - part Michael Jackson part Freddie Kruger.  I had this pin out under local anesthetic with a pair of pliers

Guy's, this thing is the size of a masonry nail.  You could hang a picture with it!  So no driving for 9 weeks, no knitting for 11 weeks and even now only in slow motion and a limited number of rows.

Now remember, knitting is what keeps me sane. No knitting, no driving, lots of drugs, no able to dress myself, write, use a knife.  I was going INSANE.  Things are improving. There has been a little knitting.  The kids are still alive (I have managed not to strangle them in my frustration - there were some close calls though!).  I can exercise again.  Life is slowly getting better.  I still have occupational therapy twice a week and probably have to have steroid injections into my hand next week, but after 17 weeks I can see some improvement.

I even managed to make something

Something easy on big needles.

And I have almost completed this, at long last

What have I learned?  That I am not a very patient person but that the word STOIC is a very good description of me.

How can a pair of shoes have so much impact?

You know the shoes in the last post - the ugly trainers?  They are taking over my life.  What clothing goes with trainers other than workout pants and a tee?  The answer really is none.

I have thought I should just wear what I would normally and pretend I haven't noticed my feet - try and disassociate myself from them, if you will.  But I know, I just know, that as soon as I looked in the mirror it would look wrong and I would need to change.  Those school mums can be a judgemental lot and if you saw the effort some of them make you would wonder whether they have their own personal Gok in their homes.  So it looks like it's going to have ot be gym clothes - a casual, I've just come from the gym, am too busy to worry about what I wear look.  In my head ....yes, on my body....could do to work out to look better in my workout clothes - but of course can't because of my foot.

Mmmmm.  Someone did suggest jeans with the trainers - but it's just so 80's.  I'll just have to spend my time looking ahead and not down (at my trainers).  Only another 3 weeks to last out.

I think I need chocolate.

You only notice when it goes wrong!

It's strange(but true) that we often don't think about things until they go wrong - the water coming out of the tap, the the car starting, oh and being able to walk.  Yes, I have hurt my foot.  Whilst running to get fit I have actually injured myself.  This would not happen if I laid on the sofa all day eating chocloate and made no effort so it is doubly annoying.  Apparently my Nike running shoes are the culprit (I can't show you a picture as they have gone down the shoot into the basement bin).  As a result I have to wear these for the next month - every day!

Yes, every day.  They are NOT elegant or pretty and as a result it's pretty difficult getting dressed in the morning.  I mean what do these things go with other than yoga pants or running gear.  Oh well.  As a result of this ugliness I gave in to this

large bar:

Not good.  But I also cooked these which are healthy and delicious

They are so easy - just cut the peaches in half, sprinkle with cinnamon, golden sugar, a knob of butter and roast for 10 minutes at 220.  The kids love them and so do I.

There has been studying  - child development theories, and it's actually an advantage having kids.  The issue is I want to try all these experiments on them and or course it's not really appropriate.  So just as well I was also looking at ethics this week.  How do we get consent from children?  Can their parents really give consent on their behalf an so on and so on.  I watched a clip of "child of our time" and actually they are discussing pretty personal issues - children's home life, academic ability, interpersonal skills etc and I wonder how the subjects will feel when they reach 20 and look back at the footage, or how the camera's influence them as they grow up.  Food for thought.  I love the programme though, it's fascinating, especially as the children where all born the same year as Annie.

And there has been knitting - maybe I'll have something to show you next time.

Got to get those a good vibrations a happening

But I'm not.  Feeling a little lost.  Daughter number 1 on first overnight school trip - didn't give her a great big kiss and hug as she got on the bus because it was all so rushed.  Can't stop thinking about her now.  She's very independent and she'll be fine - but I feel bereft.

DH is also away in the good old US of A and although he's due back, it feels like he's been away a long time.  On the plus side, Emily has kept me busy - throwing balls, reading homework (her not me), reading her library book (me not her), picking up buttons with chopsticks and then a lovely candle lit bath which we both had to get into.  Talk about making the most of the time she has with me whilst big sister is away.  Then, to top it off she gave birth to her doll and proceeded to breast feed it on the sofa whilst watching Masterchef Goes Large.

Not one stitch knitted today (yet).  Have college work to do and must, must, must priotitize work.  I keep looking at the knitting and it's waving back at me.  But no, I will stay strong (except for the bag of cheese and onion crisps I just ate - and I was being so good!)

Perhaps listening to the Beach Boys will bring it back - off to find my surf board.

Obsessed? Me?

So I've become obsessed with knitting a snuggly, cabled sweater of some kind. Not so strange you may think but remember I live in Singapore - it's hot and humid. Okay - I am going skiing at Easter and that's what got me started.

I saw this on net-a-porter.

It's cashmere Donna Karan. I likey.  I want, but not at over a thousand pounds.  Mmmm. So I have decided that this Norah Gaughin Cowl Pullover is close enough - sort of.  So I spent ages looking at all the Jade Sapphire Cashmere 8 ply but just couldn't justify the price when I am supposed to be on a yarn diet.  I do have enough of the aforementioned yarn in Lupine but I want the sweater to be cream - so....I am going to go with natural coloured Malabrigo Worsted - feel ok about it as if I mess it up (you have to cut your knitting) at least it won't be on expensive cashmere yarn.

And then I got obsessed with this and I have some yarn in my stash that would probably fit the bill - also cream.  I am only going skiing for two weeks and I want to make two sweaters! I guess it makes a change from wraps, shawls and cardigans to wear in the aircon.

Studying is about to resume so knitting time will be shorter - bummer. As much as I love studying, knitting would win hands down in a fight.

Have spent the morning watching watching "Swallows and Amazon's" with daughter number one.  Such a lovely film - makes you want to eat cake and drink ginger beer.  But who calls their daughter "Titty"?  I guess it's short for Letitia, maybe.

Off to make lemonade or jam sandwiches.

Just enjoy the show

Yes, that Lenka song the show. Do you know it? She reminds me of Bjork and it's upbeat and fun. The kids and I just can't stop singing it - we've even stopped playing it and stuck to Beethoven's Wig - but no - it keeps coming at us. Makes me want to dance.

Professional boxing is back in Singapore after a 40 year hiatus and as a boxing virgin I decided I needed to go and find out how bad it was. I was fascinated by the way the boxers looked they try to differentiate themselves with strange haircuts and tattoos. I wanted to be appalled by the boxing, but actually I wasn't - it was even exciting at times - I know it's not pc but there it is. I had fun - hang head in humiliation for admitting it.

Anyway, also did some knitting. I have had some Rowan Bamboo Soft in my stash for so long it was starting to pain me. So I cast on the Debbie Bliss pleated wrap. OMG, I love the squidginess of this yarn. I want to hold it all day and do nothing else - I knit up a ball and a half in one day I love it so much. Then I noticed at Jimmy Bean it looks discontinuedb ut at Laughing Hens it doesn't look discontinued at all. I love it so much, was worried it would be my last chance to use it - so I ordered tons of it to make sure if it is discontinued I have some in stock. Remember how long it took me to use the first lot...now I have lots more coming to make.....I have no idea (and yarn diet out of the window but I did think it as discontinued).


I also finished my Cedar Shawlette scarf - which is very pretty. The yarn smells - not unpleasant but it does smell - well, a bit like the sea I think.


My new course books arrived last week - so off to do some studying - Child Development - scared I will find out all the things I have done wrong :)

It's 2010

It's a time for resolutions and making new starts. So here I am blogging again. I'm still knitting, about to start studying again and making headway at getting fit, Now I just need to remeber how to load photos and I can show you what I've been up to....

E Day is tomorrow

E Day - that's exam day. Am NOT properly prepared because as in my last post - life has been happening and revising has not. I am working now - have come up with a system to maximise the time I have. I keep telling myself I will pass and get a good mark because I have done all the work this year - and I have done as much revision as has been possible (after some procrastination you understand).

Fingers crossed it works.

Life happened

and time flew. I'm on my last assignment for this unit and the deadline is Wednesday, I am just starting. I should have written it two weeks ago but since coming back from skiing life has been a whirl - and not always in a positive way.

DH has been ill with kidney stones and has been very male about it (I am in excruciating pain but will go work and pretend I am okay - then will collapse in a heap and need looking after when I get home). After 10 days this has become very tiring as has the lack of sleep. He eventually falls asleep just as I have to get up to get the kids ready for school.

I think it's just about testing my commitment to my studies. If anything is testing it - then this last month is definitely it. So I must write the assignment - and I have an exam - the first in at least 20 years - on the 15th June. Then I am going to sleep for at least the rest of that week.

But of course, I have been knitting - but an crap at taking pictures of it all. Socks for the girls, from Koigu, my first ever socks. I got one knit on the plane on the way to Vancouver and the other completed within another couple of days. This sock knitting is addictive - small, portable and so quick if you are making them for small people. This colour - how perfect.


Then I made a pair for kind of trainer socks for myself in this Lornas Laces

I've never used superwash wool before and after the koigu it feels hard and sweaty - I don't think I'd use it again. The kids like how it looks but after the Koigu they don't think it feels the same and want more of what they have.

Now remember, I live in Singapore, so wool socks are not a requirement and actually pretty inappropriate - well according to my kids they need wool socks to keep their feet warm in the airconditioning, especially at night - so they need more - NOW!

I have also been knitting with Rowan Kidsilk Haze - a Precious in grey, a Labryinth in Violetta and I have another sweater on Kidsilk Aura on the go at the moment. My stash has some much KSH and Koigu that I could be knitting in just those two yarns for the next 5 years.

And Emily was five today. Five, so hard to believe. She thinks she's too young to learn to knit - wants to wait until she is a bit older, like 6 or 7. I am so looking forward to it. Annie can now knit and purl so is going to have a go at a Knitted Babe - good for her. We ordered the wool and whilst she's laid up next week (Tonsils and adenoids out next Wednesday) she wants to make a start. Being surrounded by the stuff is obviously rubbing off.

Well, have just successfully procrastinated for another 20 minutes - must go and write the other 1400 words of my 1500 assignment. Wish me luck

And then it was February

Yes, unbelieveable isn't it. Well I thought so. And of course we had Christmas. The kids were so excited and even agreed to face painting on Christmas day - which is unheard of.



How happy do they look!

Then it was back to school, for al of us. So busy which was not helped by a bout of gastric flu (awful but good for the waist- line - and then bronchial asthma - which is not good for the waist-line). And also interferes with my studying - big time baby. I have caught up and gotten another assignment in. There even has been knitting, and baking and reading but not enough sleeping.

I have finished Glad. Made a beanie on Tilli Tomas Flurries for little one and have the yarns to make one for number 1 daughter. Such gratifying projects - why bother ever making a sweater again. But of course I have 95% finished a brushed Suri sweater for the little one. And am working on French Girl Daphne for me.

The thing is - being so busy makes me try to control everything and everyone. As my 4 year old told a friend the other day when they announced Crazy Hair Day at school :
"I won't be able to do that - my mummy doesn't like me to be crazy. It's too loud and drives her bananas"

Mmmm - food for thought, where has my sense of fun gone on holiday? Actually she is obsessed with death at the moment and has come out with some real corkers over Christmas whilst my mum was here. My father died almost 20 years ago and so this conversation started:

"Grandma, why don't you get married again - you must be very lonely"
"I'm not lonely I have lots of friends and I have you and Annie and you're mum"
"yes, but if we all died you would be lonely wouldn't you?'
"that's not going to happen" says Grandma
"Mmmm - well you are very old Grandma, so you'll probably die soon".

After choking on our food we did think it was funny but where oh where did this come from?

Enough of this frivolity. It is crazy hair day this Friday and she WILL be donning a neon pink wig. Never enough pink.

And then it was Christmas

It was November the last time I looked, and now it's Christmas. Gosh time flies when your having life.

My mum is here and whilst we promised we'd keep our routines, it just hasn't happened. I feel guilty disappearing to yoga when I've spent part of the day studying. It's not her, she is always very understanding - it's me. I feel pressure even though none is applied.

There has been knitting, presents, finishing a pig for Emily and making a hat to replace the one mum loaned out and never got back. But the meditative quality it normally imbues me with is lost when there are other people talking and I can't just switch off - I sound like I'm moaning moaning moaning - I am and I'm not. It's just different.

I guess if I can get my latest assignment done whilst I have both kids home for holidays, one of them ill and have my mum here I'm doing okay. I have submitted it today. I am so enjoying studying. It's opened up lots of interesting things I haven't ever thought about, and is filtering into my discussions with my other half and the kids - like evolution and whether they teach it at Annie's school as fact ot not.

Got to go - number 2 daughter wants to sleep in my bed again!

I'm going to join the circus....

because I need to practise my juggling skills. They are definitely not what they should be.

So let's see; sick child - check
husband away - check
studying to do - check
mother just arrived for 8 (yes 8) week stay - check
yoga? -
kids activities to taxi them to - check
food shopping - check
relax?
Send Christmas presents so mum can get in the spare bedroom - check

Just struggling to do it all. Plus had a shitty haircut which I hate. Hence the reason I am starting this weeks study at 10pm on a Wednesday night. Daughter number 2 going back to school tomorrow - but still have mum at home.

Oh dear - just dropped a ball, and another and another. And now the time lion is following me.....help

It's all about priorities

And mine should be in this order:
study
exercise
knit

Are they in this order? No not really. BUT THEY SHOULD BE. And where does parenting fit in?

Next week is half term and so I need to get on top of studying and be ahead as I won't have much time next week. I'm only doing one unit and heavens knows it shouldn't be that difficult.

So. I will now study for the 1.5 hours I have left this morning before yoga (hot yoga - very good), then if I ush home I will half an hour for lunch. I may get the "fetching" handwarmers finished(only 3 rows and the thumb to do) after Emily's homework before Annie gets in from school. Then I have to immediately go to parent teachers conference for Annie. She is currently having "attitude" issues - so that will be interesting. When I get home I will have dinner with the kids - get them into bed and then STUDY. I will not knit. I will not knit - I will STUDY.

The thing is - I have picked up "Glad" again and I want to finish it. Hopefully it will look like the book


but I also need to finish "shrunken" cardy thing which I suddenly love less that I did a couple of weeks ago
I don't know why I feel like that - I had a green phase - maybe it's over but I haven't finished knitting it yet, so it can't be.

Notice I should be STUDYING, instead I'm blogging!

Learnings from a tiring week

1. Spending an entire weekend at school whilst your 4 year old has rehearsals and 3 ballet performances is tiring but worth it. ( I like this blurry picture)


2. Big sisters need praising when they accept that this weekend is all about their little sister and not them.

3. Eric Erikson and James Marcia had some interesting things to say about developing our identities - but my question is - ow fluid are our identities and what makes us have crises a different lie stages?

4. Sick husbands who moan are irritating. Saying they are sick of being ill makes me sick. So there!

5. Knitting is what keeps me sane - not just big projects but little projects too. In fact I've discovered this week that I really like little projects sometimes - a quick finished object makes me happy.

6. People think you're a control freak if you have Christmas shopping and some wrapping done already. I don't care though - I may be a control freak but you won't catch me running around at the last minute trying to find the "perfect (quick) gift" and panicking.

7. Writing an assignment for the first time in 12 years is scary and the cause of much procrastination.

And my question of the week:
Am I a bad parent because I'm looking forward to my oldest being away at Brownie Camp for the weekend?

Well hello

This is about a new phase of life. Both kids are now in full-time school, I'm studying for the first time in 12 years and hopefully finding time for some knitting and sewing.

I'm starting to study psychology, it fits in with my previous profession in Management Development and HR and will hopefully open new avenues. I want to find something I can do until I'm 92, and that fits around the kids.

This is not my first blog _ had one before called Craftmouse but I chose the name on a whim and I didn't know where it was going - so on another whim I deleted it.

So hello and welcome.